Somehow I got exactly jack shit done this weekend. I mean, I did mountains of laundry, we had two basketball games, Raf made a brisket (10 hours of cook time), we watched an awesome movie (10 Cloverfield Ln),we went to church, I went to the grocery store. Basically a lot of stuff got done, but none of it was The Plan. My bags of clothes are sitting in my library and on the floor in my room, but it's because I still want to clear out MOAR STUFF!! The tiny snag in that is that I've been losing some weight lately, so a lot of my regular clothes are getting too big and I'm fitting into a lot of stuff that was shoved in the back of the closet and drawers that I haven't been able to wear in years, so I'm having a hard time determining what to keep. What if I put the weight back on? It's really only a happy side effect of the diet I follow to keep from feeling barfy and tanking out my blood sugar (I have reactive hypoglycemia as a result of having gastric bypass ten years ago). What if I keep losing weight? I have tens of jackets and sweaters that get minimal use in Texas, but I'll eventually need them in Maine, so do I keep them all?? I need an adult.
One of the things that happened this weekend is that my sister Amy and her family came over on Sunday to visit. I was putting away last week's laundry in Trevor's room so that I could start this week's laundry and Amy was chilling in a bean bag chair watching me. I was telling her about how one of the only things that is super hard for me to get rid of is stuffed animals. It's really an issue. I remember the circumstances of almost every single stuffed animal my kids have ever gotten and it upsets me to think about getting rid of them. There are literal hundreds of them. I have the first stuffed toy I bought Trevor, a little angel with a bell inside that I hung from his infant carrier. I bought it during a Christmas shopping trip to Macy's with my mother in law when Trevor was a newborn. I have a little yellow care bear that my friend Patty gave Trevor when he was probably a year old. I have the frog that the hospital gave Grayson when he got his tubes in his ears. I have stuffed animals from Maine, Virginia (another friend Patti!) Louisiana, England, and I cannot bear (zing!) the thought of just tossing them out. Amy is not sympathetic. She and Ralph agree that they take up too much room and are pretty useless. But we haven't even talked about the financial investment. Do you even KNOW how much a flipping Build-a-Bear costs?? We're talking $60 easy if you get an outfit. My kids have like four of those fuckers, each. They have stuffed Storm Troopers from Disney World, I'm sure those cost roughly a grazillion dollars. Again, I need an adult to help me make the hard decisions.
I'm totally not going to miss my psychologist appointment again tonight, but I'm also going to focus on finishing the clearing out of my closet and drawers and maybe even start on the library closet. That library closet is enormous and would be the perfect staging ground for our donation/garage sale stuff, since right now it mostly holds pure junk. There are boxes full of gift bags. Multiple boxes. I also tend to keep every birthday card, ever. Each of my kids has stacks of birthday cards, separated by year, that I've kept. All of them. I've even gone back and read some of them periodically. Okay, I might have a problem with more than stuffed animals. I have to change myself from a soft-hearted, sentimental, little old lady to a fiercely efficient, pragmatic, unfeeling taskmaster. But there's this real fur hat that was my grandma's. Trust me, you would love it. How can I ever get rid of that??? I seriously need an adult.
Soon I need to address my thoughts on homeschooling. It's something I've thought about a lot, and something I think my kids would benefit from, and honestly might be something I'm good at. It's a terrifying prospect, but could be the only way to maintain consistency if we become bi-coastal. Probably a thought for another day.
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